-[ threw ]-
it is my fear that one day
i will stand alone and say
"i had all that i needed
and i threw it all away."
-[ atnight ]-
surrounded, by
a pulsing mass
of the darkest kind
and waiting
as sound kills away
every thought
pleasantly lost
in a room
with no perceptible
c o r n e r s
-[ home ]-
this place we go without fear
where predictability reappears
where we can make peace with
the day against we just fought
we go without asking ourselves
what pushed us to go there
this place that we dare call home...
-[ teachings ]-
then one day, at school
i was told
it was the latest thing
to have a
personality.
((( .to.hide. )))
___________
I've heard 't's a lack of decency
to stare into one's eyes
Perhaps that's why society
stays parted and rarely do we see
real intentions arise
I've heard it's a tad insecure
to converse with strangers
We never know, we could be lured
and tricked to some malicious plan
like becoming his friend
I've learned 't's no possibility
to close ourself and silently
wish for someone to see.
Toujours progresser,
de façon à ne jamais
regretter.
Ne pas se garder de
jeter un coup d'oeil derrière,
parce que c'est comme ça
qu'on s'est rendu là.
Et on n'a rien perdu,
tout a changé, tout est
différent, mais pas tout-à-fait,
pas complètement.
On n'a pas suivi d'autre recette
que la nôtre, celle qui est apparue
lorsqu'on l'a crée, et
à aucun autre moment.
Si peu d'ambitions, mais tant
de possibilités, droit devant,
ou un peu à droite, tout juste
un petit peu.
Une droite qu'on n'empruntera
probablement jamais, mais qu'importe;
il me semble voir quelque chose
partout où je regarde.
Que ce soit dans les détails insens
sedfaucibuswisi.words.pulvinarlectustquis
--
Words are so wonderfully
Erasable.
Every mistake so easily
Swiped
By a mere move of the hand.
Every thought later judged
Wrong
Takes a fraction of an
Instant
To vanish and be rightfully replaced.
Yet when a spoken thought
Slips
It marks, it stains so
Deeply
That no matter how hard I attempt
To make it go away, to
Cleanse
To revert an altered
Perception
Of the me I gradually formed
There are traces that still remain
Traces that never disappear
Scars adding up to a
Full,
Plain,
Black.
[ onomatopées ]
Emily walks.
She sways her skirt
down the dark alley,
her contoured eyes
staring at her feet.
Clip, clop,
sing her big black boots.
Clip, clop.
Emily thinks.
She throws her thoughts
upon every being
and understands again,
there exists no sense.
Plic, ploc,
sing the sad raindrops.
Plic, ploc.
/* reminescence */
Still the taste of a distant evening, haunting
the evident emptiness of this day, this hour
that feeds on distant memories to subsist
scattered thoughts drowned in altering vapors
and visions of a black-painted escape door,
faintly glowing under ultraviolet lights.
Eyes closed to reveal distorted wavelengths, and
an ever-evolving mass of the palest skin,
changing in flawless harmony with every sound,
asymetrical perfection missing a single element;
an empty seat hopefully shaped for me.
Slowly losing touch with Possibility, swept
by the stinging realizations that made me swear
already too many times before to
Watch me.
Stalk me.
Give me a reason to wait
when I have nowhere left to go
and noone left to please.
Judge me.
Rate me.
Show me I'm worth you
and grant me Sense
when I dare not find any.
Read me.
Know me.
Find in me something you lack
everytime you inspect my thoughts,
everytime you pierce the surface.
And please,
when the time comes,
let me see you...
1100010101.serialized.
--
and you throw another of your
serialized smiles
custom-made, guaranteed to
soothe the ever-seeking soul
of the next desperate target.
and he tries, as he's tried
too many times before
to trust the surface of lips
wrinkled by the incessant abuses
of one or another's hopes.
and she turns away,
[well of course she does]
and he understands,
[perhaps a bit late]
that he shouldn't have stopped,
[why haven't i learned by now]
that coming up for air
is utterly useless
when it rains so hard.
and she turns away,
flooded with senseless happiness
it leaks from her every move
spreading instants so full
an
static --
*_../=-|
what\'s a better enemy than our own mind?
it will do anything in its power
to make us feel uncomfortable
with the decision it just took,
so we don\'t have the burden of analysing the
most probably decieving consequences.
sickeningly true is the force that leads us back
when we at last decided to take a step forward,
paralyzed by the perspective of an unforseen trouble
that may distort the very acceptable present.
if it ain\'t broken, don\'t fix it.
and even if it is,
be careful
not to break the unmounted and shattered
pieces of your heart,
they\'re all you have.
it can always be worse... you\'re taking cha
Preparing nothing
Pretending to live
A thousand clones
smiling at the Inevitable
An applauding audience
Never late
Predefinded sequences
Order in the Flow
Perfect synchronisation
A comforting view
No more worries
A welcome brainwash
An empty space
Growing, absorbing thought
a Warm void
so It can all continue.
Knowing you're there
but afraid to look towards you
afraid of what you might think of me
(..that anonymous little me)
of those eyes stalking you...
your absence of color
an aura of beauty
surrounding you
contrasting with this environment
somewhat too simple
So many dark strings
coming out of eyes so bright
Unconcievable blends
deranging contrasts
absorbing me
What have you that they all lack?
thousands of little details
discovered every moment
Looking, wishing in silence
Maybe you're like me
Maybe you'll like me
You seem so different
but (again) I must be mistaken
Impressions are decieving
still, leave me dreaming
nai
Sounds surrounding me
Melodies creating themselves
Abstract authors
Places showing their beauty
With noone to look
Waiting
Situations are created
Opportunities lost
The world tries to keep up
Priceless pictures
That were never taken
"It'll come back"
Time flows
We drown.
just an observer
standing still
watching them
the useless unseen
ever analysing
trying to understand
the great shapeless sea
of common thinking
never wrong
flawless by standards
a gray road
for everyone to follow
empty minds
with approving smiles
gave up
numbed by the view
turned away
to see if there was something else
...and there was
.became.
whatever they do
whatever they say
nothing can touch me
for I am not here
I'm not anywhere
immaterial eye
you can make me disappear
but it won't do nothing
for I was never seen
Standing there
Staring at me
empty eyes
Trying to help
without knowing
trying to listen
when you can't understand
Didn't bother explaining
never really cared
neither did you
thought I didn't see
So sure, so proud
thought you changed something
you don't know me
Just hoping someday, you'll
try to look my way... hoping
that one day, I'll catch
your divine sight
A random glance, thrown
with no intended effect
carved onto my mind
foreverafter
Numbed, by the flat tone of
your footsteps
Ever repeating -- can't
stop following you
Wishing you'd turn around, so I
could fall over you
Grab me,
and I'll never let go
Wishing still, by moonlight, that
your breath will come to me, and
make me alive again, with
your voice, to soften me
all the way through my soul
talk to me, so
I can die slowly
by your side.
.decide
you know
you have no obligations
to see all these
things I choose to see
not because I must
but because I believe
that there is an alternate
to you
to the nonsense
everywhere around
surrounding us
don't you see it
don't you feel it too
always something wrong
didn't you take the time
to stop and look
while everyone ran
or did you see me
looking at you
you can change
I'll stand still
not waiting
but wishing
for you
at least, to try
to know what's behind
even if you don't want
to be part of it.
dependant souls
unable to wait
impatient to tell
they've understood
the bliss of conformity
equal minds
share thoughts
becoming one
emptying two
bidirectionnal waste
thought they've learned
what will make them better
blind adoptions
for a better tomorrow
everlasting sorrow
misevaluated
insomnia
bursts of rain
restlessly puncturing my window
ceaselessly hitting my mind
waking a thousand thoughts
keeping my vision
plunged into darkness
and guilt
lights inside me
flashing in the night
analysing, too late
whatever errors were created
what's been lost
what will only come back
while I'm awake
and shouldn't be
the coldest winds
leaking through my window
creeping to my soul
filling me with
what I am not
and should be
communication, deeper than words
connected minds -- without bounds
no exterior signs, but so much sense
in those eyes, this look, your lips
smiling faintly to me
I understand
and you know it
...barriers fade away
apart from the mainstream
the wrong direction
both of us alone
never should it change.
Sorry for dreaming too far away,
Sorry for going too often astray,
Sorry for running blind into danger,
Sorry for treating you worse than a stranger,
Sorry for thoughts that I sought to divide,
Sorry for loving I could not provide,
Sorry for stars that I could not create,
Sorry for hints that I failed to relate,
Sorry for laughing at your point of view,
Sorry for thinking I was better than you.
Sorry for faith that I could not maintain,
For your ideals that vanished in pain...
But now, no matter how I regret,
Sorry, my dear, I can't make you forget -
It's too late.
Ray of light behind the curtain,
Where you lost your godly powers?
Hazing up what once seemed certain,
Mists of doom condense in towers.
I\'m afraid.
Left alone in secret chambers,
Feeling eyes of unseen creatures,
Like an insect caught in amber
There I long for human features.
I\'m alone.
Running through eternal mazes,
Through the labyrinth of errors,
Crossing cliffs, which my fear raises,
Lose myself in darkest terrors.
I\'m lost.
Ray of sun behind my window,
Can\'t you shine a little longer?
Bring your light to earthly limbo,
Make my hope a little stronger!
Kitty wanted out. So she tried to kill herself. Swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Now she can't wake up. She can't get out.
***
"Here's your latte."
Kitty looked down at the tall drink, then up at the man who had brought it. He was tall, blond, and pale. He had large white wings sticking out of his black blouse.
"Am I dead?"
"No!" the man answered.. "Of course not... Well, not really." He smiled at her. "Just drink your latte, I have one mocha to do and I'll be right back to explain everything. This happens quite a bit, you know."
He left and Kitty slowly picked up her drink, taking in her surroundings. She was sitt
1100010101.serialized.
--
and you throw another of your
serialized smiles
custom-made, guaranteed to
soothe the ever-seeking soul
of the next desperate target.
and he tries, as he's tried
too many times before
to trust the surface of lips
wrinkled by the incessant abuses
of one or another's hopes.
and she turns away,
[well of course she does]
and he understands,
[perhaps a bit late]
that he shouldn't have stopped,
[why haven't i learned by now]
that coming up for air
is utterly useless
when it rains so hard.
and she turns away,
flooded with senseless happiness
it leaks from her every move
spreading instants so full
an
Current Residence: near montreal, canada Favourite genre of music: electro-industrial | IDM | indyelectronic Favourite photographer: cataya | kittynn | adam1975 Operating System: windows xp MP3 player of choice: windows media player 9 | rio 800 128mb Shell of choice: the one i remember Favourite cartoon character: noone!! [effortless comics by sighguy]
Waaaah! After more than one month of absence, the ghost comes back... and posts!
Yep, two new poems, or should I say two and one third, since the haiku is depressingly short. Hope you appreciate it nonetheless.
Aaaaaand i'm still in charge of three (3) accounts...
~zaknafein (https://www.deviantart.com/zaknafein) is, of course, this account. the words account.
:icondeidre: is my new side-account, for graphic stuff only.
:iconindustrialheaven: is my beloved club, which I update frequently. music only.
Who knows when I'll post again. So don't await... anything.
And... I still loooooove music.
..zak
-= ...greetings... =-
Check out the following deviants... now!
-[ tal
Aaaah. Time for a new entry, feels I.
Now I'm "in charge" of three accounts. Or, two and a half. But mostly three these days.
~zaknafein (https://www.deviantart.com/zaknafein) is, of course, this account. the words account.
:icondeidre: is my new side-account, for graphic stuff only.
:iconindustrialheaven: is my beloved club, which I update frequently. music only.
My poetry side is a bit -dead- right now, so let's invest in something that works, shall we not? :P
I loooooove music.
..zak
-= ...greetings... =-
Check out the following deviants... now!
-[ talented addictions ]-
:iconcataya: :iconsonnentau:
:iconindustrialheaven: :icondeidre:
-[ talented friends ]-
:
It's taken awhile, but I'm here... safe...
Just finished my somehow HUGE (heehee, gotta like those catayaish contradictions ;)) industrialheaven (https://www.deviantart.com/industrialheaven) journal update and mass-noting session... it feels good to be back. :)
As for poetry... I've written some (french) things for a friend, and that's about it. It'll come back, it always does.
Music fills my life... and my goddamn credit card :| I must've bought 200$ worth of CDs in the past week.... I'll be broke if I go on like this!!
But Forma Tadre and Cleen and Newt and Combichrist and Imminent and.... they all sound so GREAT!! :D
Have fun! That's what counts, says I!
..zak
-= ...greeti
salut, juste un mot pour savoir si tu étais toujours un membre actif de montrealrock et si t'avais une deviation que tu aimerais afficher pour le groupe. cheers.